Building Community

In the middle of my Ropen Space, I found myself drawn to a large circle of people in the main room. As part of the unconference process, this open area was kept in case a class ran long and needed more time. For Lochai's Community Building discussion, the space was invaluable.

I had not attended the regular workshop, but with so many people I knew and admired sitting and talking intently, I could not help but drift towards them.

At first I was anxious. Like I said, I admired a lot of the people in that circle. And as they spoke, I was in awe of their conversation. Building community, reaching out to those looking for their kink home, nurturing connections beyond just play and fucking. It was all so deep, so important, so consequential.

It wasn't until Lochai looked up, saw me, gave a smile, and blew an air kiss that I remembered, Oh, yeah. I'm a part of this community.

I sat down on the edge of the circle, listened, and feverishly took notes. As they spoke about friendships rather than fuck buddies, encouraging openness and honesty, making safe spaces for new people, nervous people, and all others in between, I smiled.

I realized there are people out there who truly care about this kink world. Who care more about the people than the play. Who see us as people and not just the next lay.

As they talked, I thought on my kinky family. I thought on my home, and BFPKIF, and all the connections I've made since I took the leap and went to my first Happy Hour.

Funny that I'm writing this. As soon as I finish, I'm jumping in the shower to go see my friends at the bar. It's been over a month since I last visited. Work and life get in the way. But I am comforted daily knowing they will always be there for me.

Every Thursday night I have a place to come home to, a spot where I'm welcomed with open arms, hugged, embraced, and asked about my life and my kinky adventures. I have friends. I have family.

As I sat on the outer edge of the circle, as I listened to these amazing leaders in my community talking, throwing out ideas and adding to each others' thoughts, I realized not everyone has what I have.

And yet I hoped, spurred on by this and many other conversations, other people will someday have a Big Fat Poly Kinky Incestuous Family too.