Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Fun Find

Subtitle: It pays to Google yourself.

So, randomly, I decided to stick my name in my search engine of choice. I already knew there was a woman on BlackPlanet with my name who, sorry folks, is not me. And I discovered there is a PoeticDesire; the 's' counts folks, a lot.

But, lo and behold, I found this gem of awesomeness: Pop Five - poeticdesires' top movie freakouts.

I sent in this list quite a while ago, as evidence by the fact I reference my Ex who, at the time of this posting, had been such for six months. But delays be damned; I loved this list and am happy to be acknowledged, even if it took me this long to realize it.

So geektastic.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Random Thoughts

- Today I watched last night's The Rachel Maddow Show and, once again, regretted not becoming a doctor.  My father is a doctor.  I'd thought about it growing up.  If I could wave a magic wand, and change my life all together, I would've gone to medical school and become an abortionist.  But I can't, so I sit here in the library, typing on my computer.  (I got sick of blogging with my iPhone, long and tedious.)

- I watched the third installment of The Black List on HBO.  I'd seen it before, but I always like the experience of listening to successful African Americans just talk.  When Hill Harper and Whoopi Goldberg spoke, I again wondered what would have happened if I'd taken performance classes with my tech classes in college. I wonder a lot about the path I've taken in my life, probably too much.

- I haven't attended my writers' group since November.  I knew work was going to dry up, so I passed on the meeting in December.  I keep getting the emails, because I haven't officially left the group.  Each time I read that someone else is submitting, I feel a twang more of doubt in my stories, in my writing style, in my dreams.

- So I know I waited til the last minute to write this post because that's what I do.  I put off just about everything until I must do it.  I know they call this procrastination, but, in truth, it's closer to laziness.  On that point, I recently wondered what my life would be like if I gave up television all together.  Without cable, I would be free to do all the things I say I'm going to: my multiple novels I've started but yet to finish, my multiple knit & crochet projects, all the books I want to read but are currently sitting on the floor in front of my bookshelf.  How much better would my life be if I had the will power to turn off the box?

- My meter is about to run out, so I'll end with a poem I wrote last month during the latest iteration of Snowpocalypse:

Frustration is

Hearing about the snow that's started to fall outside
Getting off work at 6:30pm only to be greeted by three and a half hours of accumulation
Seeing two of your buses parked on the side of the road, surrounded by cars
Learning neither bus will be moving any time soon because another one is stuck on the hill ahead
Walking to the Metro stop, three blocks away, snow flakes whipping against your face, fogged and iced over glasses barely showing the way
The long trek down the stopped escalator into the station, one foot after another, just trying not to fall
Riding the train from one end to the other with the knowledge, on any other day, your bus ride would have taken ten minutes
Trudging up and down hills, from the station to home, seeing yet still more buses, and a salt truck, stuck in the snow
Green lightning streaking through the air, signaling impending doom
Conformation of your fears when you see you indeed don't have power
Soggy socks, heavy boots, and a pile of wet coat, jacket, and pants
No hot water, no heat, not being able to open your refrigerator
A dinner of pineapple slices and a Nutrigrain bar
Waking up to the low battery beep of a smoke detector
Going to work out of boredom and the desire to be warm
Clearing off your car and, in the process, cracking the windshield
Driving to a friend's home just to take a shower
Three days later, still no power, with little hope of that changing
The possibility of more snow in a few days

~ 1/28/11

Saturday, February 12, 2011

VD, or My Distorted Views On Feb. 14th

I am a late bloomer. I didn't loose my virginity, or have my first relationship, til I was 22. So, for the majority of my life, February 14th was not a welcome day.

In grade school, I received cards from all my classmates, but was then picked on when I created a card for a boy I liked. Everyone else made theirs for a parent. His name was Noel. I don't remember anything about him, except for that incident.

In middle school, it was all about being chosen to receive a card. In my class of twenty, I got about five.

Because I went to an all girls Catholic high school, somehow it was less painful. I don't even remember cards, but there was candy and heart decorations.

I can't remember VD at all in college. Then again, with classes, two jobs, and shows, most of my days were a blur.

Now, as an adult, my experiences haven't improved. Stores push you to buy things. Television shoves the love narrative on you. And, if you're single, the general thought is you're to be pitied or there must be something wrong with you.

Frankly, I call bullshit on the entire notion of VD.

Even when I was in a relationship, I never liked VD. My Ex didn't believe in gift giving, nor did he ever say he loved me. (I know, what a dick.) I thought things would be different because I finally had someone. And they were: I felt worse. What was the point in celebrating our love when he couldn't even say the words?

Now that I'm single again, I had planned to hang out with friends. But life is a son-of-a-bitch and my plans were cancelled. So I'm stuck alone on a Monday with nothing to do, except resent the world for about 24hrs.

Happy VD; hope you don't choke on your candy.
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