Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Resist The Urge To Turn Pussy

Congressional Democrats, the shit we all saw coming has finally arrived. Scott Brown won the special election in Massachusetts today and will soon be the new junior Senator, thereby extinguishing your paper thin filibuster proof majority.

Now, I know there are some of you who will see this as a reason to stop pushing for reform. You believe this election was a referendum on all you've tried to do this past year. Do me a favor: Resist The Urge To Turn Pussy.

Martha Coakley lost the election because she ran a piss poor campaign. She believed the primary was her battle, and has since sat back, barely acknowledging her opponent. So, when Scott Brown did surge, because people are pissed now and he espoused fake populism, Coakley's campaign was not prepared to react. And besides, no way was a Republican going to win Teddy Kennedy's seat. Guess what, lazy Democrats up there in Massachusetts, it just happened.

I say all this as 1) a lesson to anyone running for office; never take your constituency for granted.

And 2) This was not a referendum on health reform. Let me repeat that: THIS WAS NOT A REFERENDUM ON HEALTH REFORM. This was the case of a lazy chick thinking she had already been crowned the new Senator from Massachusetts just because she's a Democrat.

So, to the main point of tonight's ranting: Resist The Urge To Turn Pussy. This is not the time to back down. For the past months, you've tried to bring in your veto proof majority, only to almost run out of time. You've acquiesced, you've brokered deals, you've sucked out most of the life in the health reform package. So, now that you have an excuse to kick your asses into gear, I propose two courses of action.

1) The sensible, and, might I add, kind of close to pussy thing to do, would be for the House to just pass the Senate bill. If the Progressives choke down the piece of shit, which has no public option and its means of payment kind of screws the pooch, the matter is done. If I were in office, and in a desperate mood, this would probably be the path I would take. Wham, bam, thank you Ma'am; we have health reform.

Now, seeing as I'm not desperate, and in fact am in a full throttle, balls to wall kind of mindset, I would choose the second option:
2) Like I said last night, Fuck 'Em. Time for budget reconciliation baby. Little Bush used it to push his tax cuts for the wealthy. It's about time the Democrats used it for something more, what's the word...moral, humane, ethically justified, greatly needed in a country where as many as 45 million people lack basic coverage, 1 million go bankrupt every year from health related bills, and 45,000 people a year DIE because they lack health insurance.

Yeah, that's what I would do. But then again, I'm not an elected official. But I am a person who votes. Keep that in mind.

As I've shared on this blog, I was recently laid off. And of course it was a shock. However, looking back on it now, I could've seen it coming. There were signs the company was not in the best shape and, as the saying goes, "Last hired, first fired." So, I get it.

I mention this incidence in my life because I see a parallel to Congressional Democrats' situation now. Because you weren't paying attention, because you took the Massachusetts Senate seat for granted, you lost it.

I also say this because Congressional Democrats have the opportunity to do what I did: take this as a kick in the ass and start doing what you should've been doing in the first place. Push your agenda forward. Work more, harder. Make health reform a reality, with or without sixty votes. You have the ability to do it. Now it only takes the testicular fortitude.

Congressional Democrats: Resist The Urge to Turn Pussy & finish what we elected you to do.

Man Up Or Shut Up

I am so sick and tired of people putting all this importance and pressure on the Massachusetts Senate race. Face it DNC: you fucked up. You chose the wrong candidate for the position, didn't realize her level of unawares about the most basic of Boston knowledge (namely that Kurt Schilling is NOT a Yankee fan), discovered her inability to run well most inopportunely (famously her snarky comment about not wanting to stand outside a ballpark and shake people's hands), and you waited until too late to bring in the President for aid. YOU FUCKED UP.

Lets be honest: Massachusetts doesn't give a flying fuck about national health reform. They have a better system than the one on the table in Washington, so if it passes or fails, it won't matter in the least to them. And, frankly, tell me a way Brown has fucked up in this campaign, past centerfolds aside.

DNC: Ya'll screwed the pooch royally with this one and a Democratic seat for over thirty years is about to turn red. If Teddy isn't rolling over in his grave, he's probably banging on the casket door so he can get out and whoop some ass.

But, beyond this little kerfuffle, one Senator shouldn't matter. In case we all have "New President Amnesia", our past Commander-in-Chief was able to push through legislation without the super-majorities the Democrats now have.

So what, you're about to loose one Senate seat. Grow a set of balls and make the shit work. Force the Republicans to filibuster. Dare them to, in fact. Footage of any of them on the floor of Congress, blocking sweeping change that would aid 30 million American, is just what ya'll will need for 1) public outrage to force them to stop &/or 2) re-election ads for the upcoming mid-terms.

Republicans are currently the party of no, but when did the Democrats become the party of bend over? Your counterparts have screwed you basically from jump this legislative session. They were united against the stimulus in the House. Only one member, Joseph Cao of Louisiana, voted for the House's health bill. In the Senate, not one voted for the Health overhaul and only Olympia Snow, Susan Collins, and, now Democrat, Arlen Specter voted for the stimulus. They're blocking nominations just cause they want to, and no one seems to have the guts to knock a few heads and twist a few arms.

Why has no one pulled the Chairmanship card with Lieberman? It's this simple: We don't care how you vote in the final ballot, but you vote with us on procedures or we'll take your spot. DONE. One opportunistic man's vote secured. Seriously, we spent so much time on that fool, I wanted to throttle both him and the people that bothered to listen to his senile rantings.

Democratic party, members of the House & Senate, Mr. President: you just have to say FUCK 'EM. Push your agenda, make them work their games, and when the American people ask who killed health reform, show footage of their threatened filibuster. When a citizen asks why their child was dropped from their family plan, show them pictures of Rep. Boehner & Rep. Cantor, Sen. McConnell & Sen. Grassley, red in the face from reading David Copperfield all night. Tell them, "I pushed for reform, but these people just worked to screw you."

Care more about the people you represent than trying to get reelected, and, for once, tell the people the God's honest truth: Republicans don't give a flying fuck about Americans. They just do what their donors tell them.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Difference Between Sex & Love

My yesterday was pretty amazing; I spent it with a budding friend, in her extremely cool house, chatting with her hot roommate. But the after math of an emotional break through I had has given me a headache all day. So maybe if I write about it, the headache will go away.

One of my friends is in an open relationship. I understood what the situation meant to this person and their SO, but I could never understand it for myself. I have always linked sex to emotions, unfortunately imposing tons of heart ache on myself. I didn't loose my virginity until I was 22, and to a person who didn't deserve it, but in my mind we were in love. Once he was gone, I used sex as a weapon against him. I had rebound flings with two different men, never actually enjoying either encounter.

Now I'm in a stable, long term relationship with a sweet man. And, after three years, I think we are in a good place.

But lately something has been bugging me. I had a few incredibly honest conversations with a coworker some time ago. But, it wasn't until a few days ago, that I wondered if we had been flirting. This bugged me enough to get me to ask said coworker as much. This person did not believe we were flirting, just brutally honest about the topics, which were sexual. And, as my blossoming friend pointed out, lots of conversations end up around sex.

However, even with the flirtation a non-issue, the crux of my breakthrough still remained. I am highly attracted to my coworker, but have no romantic feelings towards him at all. This was the first time, to my knowledge, I have completely stripped emotions out of sex. Having held this as a belief, and then having it disproved by a life experience, has sent my head spinning.

Also, it left me with a question: should I approach my SO with this breakthrough? The short answer is yes. I should talk to my SO about it. My psychologist encourages me to talk with my SO about any and everything. She feels I should never inhibit my thoughts, especially since I have the tendency to let them eat away at me until they burst out, usually causing damage and a round of apologies on my part.

But now that I know I won't be having sex with my coworker, is it really worth it to ask my SO about sleeping with other people? We have brokered the subject when it came to other women. My SO knows I'm bisexual and indeed has encouraged me in the pursuit of female affection. But, even with this admission, I feel bringing up the subject of other men is precarious. The last thing I want to do is to emasculate him, or make him feel like he isn't good enough. That is not what I'm saying, at all.

Instead, it is a curiosity that's sparked in me. I want to know what it feels like to sleep with other men. I've had four male sexual partners and one female. He's had more, much more. And there is a part of me that wants to see what so many other bodies feel like, against mine, in mine.

Of course, there is the likelihood this urge will go away. In fact, I know it has only been sparked because of my latest writing, an erotic novel with a strong female lead. I've projected on to her the abilities and prowess I don't feel in myself. She is my surrogate, living the life I know I never will.

And there is the simple fact that I am not a pursuer. The people I have had encounters with, including those that did not end up in sex but were sensual and fulfilling all the same, have never been my prey. They were always the predator. I happened to be in their cross-hairs, ready to be caught. So how am I, assuming I am given blessing by my SO, to pursue my wilds when I lack the self esteem to believe I am attractive enough or the confidence to hunt for my conquests?

So that's where my head is. And, having taken the time to type out my thoughts, I now feel better. But questions, and the quandary, still remain.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

She Lives

I'm sorry, my few though quite loyal, followers for my absence. Damn, I missed the entire month of December.

The 30+ days I've spent, sans blog, were a mixture of awesome and awful. I was at times angry or overjoyed, calm or worried, okay or not okay. Today, though, I'm good. It took the entire month of December for me to get over the shock of my situation and become, dare I say, relieved.

Since I now have no choice but to pursue other means of sustaining myself, I have actually worked on my writing more than ever before. Monday, I completed cleaning up my screenplay. It is number one on a list of about ten projects I hope to accomplish.

Lets be honest: this is not an easy road I've chosen. I love writing, have since I was young, and feel the need to do it all the time. But, if I am to make a career out of this, if this is to be my job, I have to start treating it like it's my job.

I cleared out my office and my laptop now lives on my desk. I've committed myself to write four hours, minimum, each day I do not have freelance tech work. Like any beginner, I've written inspirational crap and taped it to the wall. I have ideas and dreams, dammit, so I need to start making them realities.

On a more practical note, I paid off my student loans, closed my storage unit, and canceled my gym membership. As much as I have faith in my talent, no one is paying me to do this, yet. Best to pinch pennies where I can, even if it means turning the thermostat down to 60 when my SO's at work. Electric bill, you will fall.

So that's where I am: writing a lot, working when I can, and trying to make my dreams come true.

So, do you think I should move on to the insane office comedy or the hot and sweaty romance novel? Thoughts?
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