Not For Long

"Are you ready?"
"Huh?"
"Are you ready?"
"For what?"
"Doom doom da doom, doom da doom, doom da doom. Doom doom da doom, doom da doom, doom da doom. Doomy doom, doom doom, doom da doomy doom, doom doom. Doom doom da doom, doom da doom, doom da doom."

Her rendition of the Imperial March was stuck in my head long after we parted.

As I drove around I-495, ferrying a Brit to the airport, we approached the bend in the highway just before the Connecticut Avenue exit and it loomed before us: the Mormon temple. I could not begin to guess how many times I'd passed the imposing structure, but this time was the most memorable.

Cruising along, Lil Sis sat beside me as I sped her towards Dulles, and away from us.

"Would you like a strawberry milkshake for the road?"
"How about Quiznos instead?"

Apparently there are no Quiznos in London; she had her last fix of toasted sandwich (and toasted cookie too) before we were off. She paid for lunch.

We chatted, small talk to get the through the unease I felt. I didn't want to let her go.

But she had to go. The last thing I wanted was for her to get into trouble with people who carried guns. I desperately wanted her to stay, but life isn't so simple or easy.

When I finally pulled up to the departure drop off, we hugged in my car. And then we hugged outside of my car. I held her tight, way longer than any normal interaction with a friend, because this was it. This was the bye.

When we finally broke apart, I had to keep my attitude upbeat. I spoke of the London Grue, and the Olympics, and seeing her other friends. I tried to sound light, hopeful.

As she walked inside, I stood at my car and waited. I watched her til I couldn't see her anymore.

I then took a deep breath and drove off. I played my music loud. I told myself I would see her soon. I reminded myself of the the London Grue and her fun with her other friends.

I didn't need to cry; I'd already done that on the floor in my basement a few days earlier, rope wound tight around me. I'd already wailed and lamented the suckage of life. I'd already mourned the inevitable.

Instead it was time to breathe, and to drive, and to make myself look forward, make myself focus on seeing my Lil Sis again.

And though a huge ass ocean separates us, I know it will not be forever or for long.