~ a dream ~
My eyes opened slowly, the fog of sleep clinging to me like a wet blanket. Had someone come in? I wasn't sure.
When my eyes did more than peek open, the first thing I saw was black. It was a matte black, and I noticed at once that it was leather. My lids opened fully now, I gasped in amazement.
A dozen pairs of boots, short and tall, spiked and healed, graced a corner of my room, the corner right next to the end of my bed. Flinging off the covers, I rushed over to the boots like a child to her presents on Christmas morning.
The smell was wondrous as my fingertips graced the first pair. The soft supple leather was creamy to the touch. I picked up a boot and brought it to my nostrils, all the better to take in the aroma.
As I set it down, and looked at the rest of the pile, a thought dawned on me: I recognized each and every pair boots.
It was not a month prior that I'd gone out with a friend, Hoop, and we'd decided to check out a leather store. There I lost myself in the boots, trying on so many pairs. With each, Hoop took a picture. It wasn't until now that I realized why.
A cough from behind me startled me. I spun my body around and viewed a man dressed in all black with a ski mask on, sporting a mile wide grin. Instead of being scared, I ran to him. I recognized the form as DeepEnd, who had obviously been the one to sneak in all the boots.
"It was N3rddom's idea," he explained as my arms hung around his neck. "We all pooled our money. Happy Birthday."
I turned around to view my leather once again, but spun into another place. Beside me stood Dane Cook, who smiled widely. No longer in a night shirt (which I have not worn since childhood), I now wore a fun sundress that swished with my slightest movement.
I stepped closer to Dane, giving him an eager grin.
"We can't," he said. "We work together."
"I don't care."
He turned to walk away. I stepped into his path.
"Who would know?" I asked. He thought for a moment, then slid his arms around me, a hand gliding onto my ass, and his thigh in between my legs.
"I don't have protection," he whispered.
"Leave that to me. I'll go CVS and be right back."
The tension between us was great, but still I pulled myself away. As I walked towards the entrance, I saw through a glass wall what looked like a tornado forming. The cone's gold and black crosshatching gave the storm a fantastical quality.
Suddenly, a bolt of lightning streaked across the sky. The tornado riped apart and fighter planes burst forth. Half looked to be military, the other half alien.
As the two factions circled each other, the alien aircraft came in for a landing, morphing into Mini Coopers of all colors. The American fighter planes landed beside them.
The cars looked cooler.
The Immigrant "Invasion" Is Just WMDs All Over Again
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There is no immigrant invasion at the southern border of the United States.
That needs to be said at the outset any time you wanna talk about What's
Wron...
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