Nag

Recently I acted like a well adjusted emotionally aware adult.

I received a request from a friend, to which I immediately and gladly said yes. But, as soon as I gave my agreement, there was a nag in the back of my throat, a little pop in my brain. I felt something, I wasn't quite sure what, but I knew I needed to talk to them about it.

So, being the highly evolved person that I am, I actually spoke up. I quite inarticulately expressed my feelings, my reservations. In stumbling language, I described my nag. Together, we worked through my issue. We are now good.

I feel the need to write about this moment for one very big reason.

In a previous post I spoke about the three words that I would like to color my year (bravery, forgiveness, and endurance). In this instance, I could have reacted differently. I could have swallowed my feelings. I could have seen this as me being petty or envious or "over emotional." I could have ignored that nag and tried to move on.  But I didn't.

Instead, I forgave myself for having the feeling, because I was feeling quite guilty over my emotions. I was brave and spoke to my friend almost immediately about it. I stopped myself from accepting the hurt and found a way to move beyond the moment. I thought about and spoke about my feelings. I talked it out and came to multiple acceptable conclusions. I helped make myself feel better without sacrificing myself as a person.

So far, almost two weeks into my three words year, I'm liking the results. Let's see if I can keep this up.