Tuesday, June 5, 2012


There were two moments that struck me during Graydancer's Cabaret. And they just happened to be during back-to-back performances.

As DoNotGoGently slowly walked towards the stage, I at first admired the rope work on her body. With lines hanging off her shoulders, as well as by her hips, the intricacy of the rope-as-clothing was beautiful.

So too was her dancing. DNGG performed a modern dance style piece, a chair at center stage her focus. It represented a past, I suppose. At least, it felt like it did to me.

As she danced to a song whose lyrics I barely remember, I do recall one part. It spoke about being tied to someone. I think it was Sarah McLaughlin singing, or that could've been someone else's piece.

What I remember most vividly, though, was how I felt as she danced. My eyes welled up. My heart filled. My sight did not leave her body, even as the tears rolled down my face.

There was hurt, but there was hope. There was sorrow, yet serenity. It was as if she said, "I hurt now, but I will not hurt forever."

As she finished, I used a pair of red underwear, which I'd thrown at Big Bro after his song that opened the Cabaret, to wipe away my tears. I bent my head down and took a moment.

As the show neared its end, many people snuck up the aisles to get a better view of the front. Only one act remained: WykD_Dave and Clover.

I had heard wonderful things about their rope work. And, with so many people eager to be at the front to watch, it seemed like expectations were high. The fluid pair more than delivered.

It's easy to say their performance was stunning. Clover is an amazing bottom and WykD_Dave an amazing rigger. And though I was in awe of their Futomomo suspension, which then transitioned into an ankle suspension, that is not what touched me.

In fact it was touch, the touch of WykD_Dave's hand on Clover's shoulder to begin, and then his arms around her to end their performance that really struck me. It was their intimacy, their vulnerability, their connection.

Later in the weekend, towards the end of my Shibaricon, I had the pleasure of seeing WykD_Dave and Clover play. They were in a side room away from the main dungeon. They chose a rig at the far end. They played, not saying a word that I could hear.

When they finished, there was again a moment where WykD_Dave simply stood behind Clover and held her. Her arms too held him tight. Once again I saw their connection.

That night, Sunday night, and that moment was too much for me. Seeing what they had, what I longed to have. Again tears graced my cheeks.

To be so blessed, to be so loved. I can only dream.

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