I'm Trying

I'm trying to not be annoyed. I understand the circumstances of the situation, even though the action was completely unnecessary. I get it; just to me, that was very dumb.

I'm trying to not be jealous, even though, once again it feels like I'm an after thought. In fact, this time, it feels like I wasn't even thought of at all. This time it feels like a petulant child wanted their way and got it eventually; I don't deal well with childish foolishness. Say what you want; don't lie about it and then have buyer's remorse soon after.

I'm trying not to be angry or upset. I know I need to give it time, step back, really look at the situation. I know I need to be more removed from it, to not just be ten minutes out. But it hasn't been more than ten minutes yet, which is why I have to try to so hard to not be pissed, again.

I'm trying to remind myself this piddling little shit will stop happening soon. In a month, my life will be completely different, and I suspect things like this will stop being an issue. Because if it doesn't, I gravely misjudged my life and the people in it. And I don't think I have. I don't think.

So I'm trying to be patient, understanding, caring…and not angry, frustrated, pissed off, jealous. I'm trying.