Friday, February 24, 2012

Fear Play

As people meandered out of Gray's class, N3rddom took Nomad up to meet him. Gray remarked how he liked her name, noting that he was the NYR Cabin Nomad.

With little time left before I had to run off to do more sound stuff, I approached Gray and confirmed our play date for the evening.

I scurried to check on the projector, said hi to multiple friends in the hall, took a moment to greet and flirt with Jim, and then ran up to a small ballroom for Marc B's Fear Play class.

As I have written about on this blog, I have an intense fear of the dark. I sat second row as Marc B spoke about fear play, the many ways fear can influence people, and how he liked to use fear as a joy ride to release waves of endorphins.

For his demo bottom, Kari, one of the event organizers, volunteered. She laid out multiple chucks, wore only a cute set of underwear, and brought a tub of warm water. Marc B was going to drown her.

As the class progressed, with Marc B's awesome stories and ideas percolating for what I wanted to experience later, I often found my eyes drifting to Kari. She grew jittery as the lesson wore on. We all knew what was coming.

Marc had her stand as he tied her arms securely behind her back. She kneeled, and he held her by her bindings. A classmate asked what Kari was doing and feeling. She spoke about how she was trying to keep her breathing controlled and trying to stay calm.

Marc B said he would begin on three. One...Two... Her head was in the water. Nobody actually believed he wouldn't try to surprise her. She was okay at first, able to hold her breath. Marc B explained just about anyone can hold their breath comfortably for thirty seconds. He kept her down the first time for a long time.

He brought her up, a splash of water from her hair catching those in the very front. She was only given a few breaths before he put her back under.

Up and down. Up and down. Gasping then submerged. Marc must have put her under about a dozen times. Each break he gave her was filled with desperate breaths, a heaving chest, and a little less water in the bucket. By the end, she was drenched and out of breath and flying high.

Kari tried to released herself from Marc's tie, but he had neglected the fact that he secured here with hemp rope. Marc had to use his Marlin spike to remove the tie.

The class complete, I spoke to Marc afterward, mentioning he had not talked about my fear of the dark. Marc then asked me if I had a fear of the dark or a fear of the unknown. Would I be just as afraid if I were kidnapped and dropped in the middle of the woods, not knowing where I was?

I still don't know the answer to his question. However, the dark still scares the shit out of me. And, one day, I will play with that.

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