Friday, July 10, 2009

Battling My Little Haters

Everyone has a voice in their head, commenting on their work, giving alternate, and often negative, perspectives on what you’re doing. This voice is the opposite of constructive criticism and generally puts you in a less than productive mood. This voice, named by Jay Smooth of The Ill Doctrine, is “The Little Hater.” Everyone’s little hater is different. Mine, unfortunately, is a Gemini.

I’ll explain. I have a cush job. I know this. I love this. I answer the phone, take messages, and try to help out in the office. As you may have guessed by that scant description, there are times when I have precious little to do. In those moments, I’ve been trying to get myself to write. However, while I’ll want to write, instead I’ve been drawn to the internet.

Here is where my first little hater comes in. Often I’ll find an article, read it, and think, “That was a good point. I should write about it.” But then my little hater will say, “No, maybe you shouldn’t. This person is highly intelligent and made their points better than you ever could.” To which I’ll think maybe my little hater is right. This person’s words are already emblazoned on the internet. They’re obviously important because this is their job. My words about the subject could never be as good, and wouldn’t matter at all, being I have such a small following and am not even getting paid. Why should I even bother talking about this when I am no where near as important as this person?

At this moment, slight despair kicks in, and my little hater’s twin will say, “Well, why don’t you just stay on the internet. Read a few more articles. Something else may catch your attention or spark your passion like this first article did.” And I’ll do this because my little hater knows I’m addicted to the internet. And I’ll not look at my clock again until hours later, having lost a huge amount of time, and not having achieved much of anything. Not only that, my initial idea from the first article would have been dulled, my passion on the topic leached, and I’m left feeling worse than before.

So let this be a warning to folks out there. Yes, you must fight against negative attitudes and thoughts, the “you ain’t shit” little hater. But also be aware of the distracting little hater, the one who locks your mind, steals your time, and leaves you feeling like shit, as opposed to saying it to your face. I personally think he’s the more sinister of the two.

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