Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Until...

My head throbbed. Pain pulsed from the base of my neck up into my brain, out through my eyes, around my forehead, and at my temples.

It was a migraine, the first I'd had in years, and only the third in my life.

"I'm feeling nauseous" turned into "You need to drive" in a matter of seconds. I climbed into the passenger seat while Gray took the wheel.

Immediately, as soon as I buckled my seat belt, I began crying. The pain was too much. Too much now. Not now. Why now? The last few precious moments I had with Gray and all I could do was quietly weep.

He had me recline my chair, lie back, cover my eyes. He told me to eat his yogurt, but I didn't want to risk throwing it up.

My car was running low on gas. We had to stop.

"Do you want a receipt?"

"No."

I didn't care about gas or my credit card. All I wanted was to stop the pain. All I wanted was to not make him miss his plane. All I wanted was for these last few minutes with him to be about something other than my head. I hated my body for betraying me.

"I need something to concentrate on."

We started talking. We began a conversation about Game Of Thrones. He's read the books. I'm watching the television show and reading after. We caught two episodes the night before.

We discussed the characters, specifically my favorites who, if they die, I will stop watching. We talked about themes in the show. We talked about anything to make the time pass, to make myself forget about my head.

When I peeked from beneath my arm, I saw it. He was pulling into the airport. I had a new reason to cry. What little time I had had with him in my car was about taking care of me, not about enjoying the the moments with him.

He pulled in, grabbed his things from the back. I lurched out of my seat, stood by the front.

He stepped over. He opened his arms for a hug, and caught the corner of my mouth for a kiss. I turned my head and returned his affection. Kissing once. Twice. Thrice. Four times our lips met and parted. My head didn't hurt, my mind didn't wander from our moment, standing in the airport drop off lane, embracing a man I loved.

"I'll see you in a few weeks."
"Safe travels."

And he walked away.

I got into my car, my head throbbing a little less, and made my way home.

All while driving, through wrong turns, pit stops, and moments of sorrow, I thought about my Senpai, missing him already, until the day I'd see him again.

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